Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Couple Forgotten Pieces in Animation

First off, Happy 4th of July, everyone. You're probably not reading this if you're part of that Marine Corps offensive in Afghanistan, and no, it's not often I find the motivation to mention the organization which has me entitled to another two plus years, but it's definitely gotta suck to get called to duty on the day when we're supposed to celebrate the freedom we enjoy as Americans. If you have a beer, drink, whatever, and you're reading this, keep in mind the boys (& girls) abroad. You might not agree with the foreign wars, you might hate the United States military, but damn it, feel reassured at night when you realize it's not you out there. Hell, I'm grateful to be home, but I know it could just as well be me out there, and I'd gripe, sure, but that doesn't mean I'd do my duties at a lesser level because of it.


Anywho, I've recently grown bored with the current animated scene, which happens to be my crescendo of taste in television. "The Simpsons" has had a great sustained run, like that ageless ballplayer that can't quit because he's still a step above his contemporaries despite having greater success in his prime years. "Family Guy" is all too cliche these days, and now that the shock value has hit home, it's running out of ways to top itself before having to go to HBO. Others, "King of the Hill," random anime series (Ace, you're going to have to fill me in on those if you're otaku at all-- I didn't even say that right.), and the overall quality of Adult Swim has left me wanting.

This has caused a bit of relapse in searching for the memories I have of the jokes of yesteryear that no one got. Three major ones come to mind.

The Critic (1994-1995)

I missed most of Jon Lovitz' efforts on SNL, unfortunately, but I was introduced to his snappy wit and sarcasm when first seeing A League of Their Own, where he was the snide baseball scout who hated that he loved his job. It's a similar setting here, where he's the same snappy guy, providing the voice for Jay Sherman, film critic. Unfortunately, it wasn't my favorite, but when compared to some of the bilge on television today, it was a cut above the rest in comparison. Too bad it was released in the heyday of those yellow-skinned guys-- who even convinced Jay to do a cross-over episode where he upstaged Homer for a spell.

My best memories of this show were the hip-pocket parodies of mainstream blockbusters. Case in point:

Clone High USA (2002-2003)

I'm still firmly on the side of the fence that does not believe in pre-destination, fate, or any of those silly kinds of ideas that things happen at a certain time in our lives for a reason. This almost swayed me when I caught this show late nights on MTV back in the day.

The premise? In the 1980s, well, if you listen to the theme song, it explains it. Historical figures were excavated, samples of their DNA were taken, and a government agency started producing clones of the historical figures, and the show depicts how all of them would act if they were in high school together.

It's got Abe, the lovable loser... Joan, the Goth chick in love with Abe but doesn't know how to say it... Gandhi, the controversial party animal that pissed off half of India... Cleopatra, the preppy cheerleader that can make Abe drool on command, much to the chagrin of Joan... and JFK, the jock who can pull ass better than the best farmhands.

I could go on for days about this one, but here's to hoping the first part of the pilot draws you in. When you track this from beginning to end, if you follow the humour, the ups, the downs, and the drama, you'd be wishing they brought back a second season, too.

When I have the energy, I'll provide some insight on Duckman.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Happy Belated Birthday Nintendo GameBoy

well the Gameboy, the most popular handheld system out there, was born on April 21, 1989, about 20 years ago... anyways here is the timeline that i thought was pretty interesting, given the fact i loved playing the GameBoy, and playing Pokemon, yes those games rule, anyways if you want the full timeline just click this link:
Full TimeLine

The Vader Project

before i begin, lets welcome the new Author, ill refer to him as #2...

anyways back to this little topic if you live around Pittsburgh, go to the Andy Warhol Museum (well until May 3rd)

Its called the Vader Project, which about 100 of the best artist and designers today were given a scale of Darth Vaders helmet to customize as they saw fit... which i think is awesome, imagine if Darth Vader's suit actually matched some of the helmets... it be crazy...

anyways if your a big Star Wars fan like me, and your in that area go check it out....

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Salutations, fellow nerds and nerd fans.

I guess for now I'll be known as "Number Two." I stumbled upon (no endorsement intended) this gem and asked to contribute, and the gods of cyberspace sprinkled some pixie dust to make it so. Be prepared for a reiteration of the content in the side window.

A short, SHORT little bio.

I work with the original USMC Nerd. To a degree. That's, well, all you really need to know.

Originally thought to have originated at the tip of William Shakespeare's pen, the term "nerd" has come to encompass any knowledgeable expert in a given field requiring an intellectual approach with a slight sacrifice in athletic ability (in most cases).

Since we're required to PT daily (by order, despite whether it's enforced) I don't see the latter being very accurate. And despite our reputation as meatheads, jarheads, etc., some of us have a half a brain or more.

And it's not limited to gaming, music, film, or other forms of enjoyment. You can be a sports nerd, a political nerd (God forbid), a trekkie (God forbid forbid forbid, I kid, really), or one of those techies that hang around backstage at local theatre productions. Regardless, I hope to bring a little bit of everything to the table, including from time to time maybe a week's soundtrack or a link parade of some slices of happiness I come across here on the intarweb.


Mississippians "don't read good."

A bit of reading for your traumatic pleasure.

I've never actually played D&D, per se, but this was easily one of the funniest damn things I've seen in a while.

A movie review (some links NSFW)

Look for the first post by "andrew" and "tysonlowery".

I'll be adding some movie reviews, movie recalls, song assessments, etc. Maybe even a boring-ass op-ed to make you feel pretentious. But chances are, if you're here reading this, I don't really have to do much to nurture that.


Friday, April 17, 2009


okay so the Movie Industry can't come up with new ideas, they have to steal from our childhood. I mean i understand that now and days we can create those stories now on the big screen and not make it crappy. I just hate how there isn't anything really original, except comedies and those are REAL movies, no matter how much I love comedies, they aren't REAL movies...

anyways back to the ruining my childhood... okay so here is a list of all things that was holy to me as a child now being a movie...

-Smurfs (its gonna be CG most likely, or hybrid)
-G.I Joe (supposedly not American heroes but UN heroes, or some bullcrap)
-Captain America
-Where the Wild Things Are?(how'd they come up with a full length script, beats me)

those are the ones coming out... thats not to mention what already did like

-Alvin and the Chimpmunks
-Dragonball Evolution
-Street Fighter (again...)

and the list goes on...

i want to work in the movie business so i can put some original ideas out there for once or something....
-Transformers (i liked this movie but still....)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wheelman Review (Demo)

okay first off i haven't played the game, just the demo... now there's alot i like from this game and alot i hate. i love the ramming of cars, and the moving car jack, and the cyclone shoot cars in bullet time... but there's alot i hate, like the physics system needs lots of work, the charactor models, the skins on the models are horrible very shiney, characters not really life like, the AI is dumb, the police can see you, shoot at you but if your behind a statue in the alley way they dont really come after you they just keep shooting even if they don't hit anything, also the voice acting is horrible, okay yeah its Vin Disiels voice, but come on try and put some emotion, okay i don't blame the voice actors, i blame the writers for such dumb scripts... but for the most part it is a very interesting game, and suggest downloading the demo before buying it, i did enjoy the game, but again there are alot of small stuff that pissed me off...

Friday, April 10, 2009

1st Game Review - Resident Evil 5

okay so Resident Evil 5, obviously is the 5 installment of the Resident Evil games, now me being a Resident Evil fan from the first game on the Playstation, I really like this game, so again ill give you two points of view coming from the fanboy side and the neutral/bashing side.

okay okay so as a fanboy, this game is great, continues the story right where Code Veronica kinda left Chris' story, and right after 4 obviously, now it introduces some a new character, your sidekick, which i think is fun when playing co-op, playing it single player isn't bad but can get annoying constantly keeping track of her vitals, anyways it plays just like RE4 and also is a lil more exciting then the previous installments. one of my favorite characters Albert Wesker, returns, and is as bad as in here as he was in Code Veronica. if you enjoy co-op type games, this is a great pick, definately buy it...

now for the bashing side... get ready cuz if you read my dragonball evo review, its not going to be pretty so bare with....

RE5 is pretty much RE4 but with different characters and a different backdrop, alot shorter, and a bit more crappier.... for example in RE4 (talking mainly if playing by yourself) you can at least put that chick you were meant to save in a dumpster and go fight zombies til its all clear, now for you partner in RE5 she is as retarded like those special people at the olympics, but not as athletic or competitive, if i give her a weapon she pretty much rather use her pistol, and when she runs out of ammo for the pistol she will run go find ammo and continue using the pistol, so i pretty much have to take her gun away, i use her like a pack mule she hauls all my ammo and herbs while i shoot things, and i cant tell her where to go so shes constantly running into danger... at least a cat knows not to jump into an open flame.... also another thing that sucks is the inventory system, in RE4 you had a suitcase and had to pause to get what you need, but at least it can hold a good amount, in RE5 i get 9 fucking slots...... 9 fucking slots, which ammo can stack but not herbs, i can combine 2 herbs, but i cant fucking stack herbs, i can hold 9 big herbs or i can hold 450 pistol ammo... does that make sense to you, cuz its sure fucking with my head, another example and egg is the same fucking size as my RPG, or my AK-47 in what sick fucking world does that exist, and and and if i hurt myself a little bit, maybe i want to not heal myself til later down the road because i have 1 small herb, nooooooo my partner wants to heal me even if i bumbed my head on her fuckin ass as she climbs the fucking ladder....